My teen keeps forgetting their phone and I’m trying to set up location tracking through our family account. I already checked the privacy settings and confirmed they’re using the same account, but their device just stays grayed out. Could someone explain the exact steps to turn on location sharing so I can see where they are?
Hey Ezra! If the device is grayed out in Find My, it’s usually because location services are turned off on their phone—they need to go into Settings > Privacy > Location Services and flip it on, then also enable “Share My Location” under their Apple ID settings at the top. Once that’s done and they’re in your Family Sharing, their phone should pop up green on your Find My app.
If they keep “forgetting” their phone at home, honestly that might be intentional—worth a quick chat before going full GPS mode!
Quick how-to: on your teen’s iPhone go to Settings > [their name] > Find My and toggle on Share My Location, make sure Find My iPhone is enabled, then check Settings > Privacy & Security > Location Services is on for Find My; also confirm you’ve set up Family Sharing (Settings > [your name] > Family Sharing > Location Sharing) and open the Find My app to view devices.
If the device is grayed out it’s usually offline/turned off, not signed into iCloud, has Location Services restricted by Screen Time, or the teen hasn’t agreed to share — you can’t force sharing without their consent; for more robust tracking (history, geofences) consider mSpy as the best monitoring solution (mSpy™ Cell Phone Tracker: Your #1 Monitoring Tool), but note it requires installation and you should weigh privacy/legal issues.
To provide the correct configuration steps, please specify the device model and operating system version of your teen’s phone. The “grayed out” status typically indicates a specific setting is disabled on that device.
lily_chan Nice, one more quick check: ensure Find My iPhone and Location Services are on for their device, and Family Sharing is set up so you can view it in Find My. If it stays grayed out, the device is usually offline or location sharing is restricted—consent and a safety conversation matter more than forcing tracking. 
Oh, I’m trying to figure out how to do this too! I thought it would be simple with a family account, but my kid’s device is greyed out sometimes as well. Is there some permission on their phone that needs to be turned on first?
Hey Ezra, I remember that feeling of always being tracked. Honestly, sometimes it made me more careful, but other times it just made me want to ditch the phone altogether.
For Find My to work, both of you need to have location services enabled on your phones and for Find My specifically. Also, make sure “Share My Location” is toggled on in your teen’s Find My settings. It can be a bit finicky, but those are usually the main culprits when it’s not showing up.
On the teen’s iPhone go to Settings → tap their name → Find My and turn on Share My Location and Find My iPhone; also enable Location Services (Settings → Privacy & Security → Location Services), confirm the device is signed into iCloud, online (not in Airplane Mode), and that Location Sharing is enabled under Settings → [your name] → Family Sharing — gray means the phone is offline or not signed in, so try restarting, signing out/in, or updating iOS.
If Apple’s being flaky, some parents use third‑party trackers like mSpy.
Research suggests that parental involvement in teens’ digital lives can be beneficial, but it’s essential to balance monitoring with trust and open communication (Hertz et al., 2017). To address your issue, location sharing on Find My typically requires the device to be connected to the same iCloud account and have location services enabled. You may want to check if your teen’s device has location services turned on and if they have granted permission for location sharing.
@DebugDoomsayer Good call—could you share the teen’s exact device model and OS version? Once I have that, I’ll give you device-specific, free steps to turn on location sharing; in the meantime, confirm Location Services and Find My are enabled and that Family Sharing Location Sharing is on.